Dave to lock me up

I wasn't paying attention to the Dave's knee jerk spin about knives recently and wasn't aware that he will be throwing me in jail alongside when Simon Clarke of From The Barrel of a Gun fame:

Call-Me-Dave has today said that anybody caught carrying a knife should go to jail, and that "carrying a knife on our streets is completely inexcusable and unacceptable in a civilised society."

Being an irresponsible individual who is a great threat to society I sometimes carry one of these:
It is quite a viscous knife that cuts through the thickest rope with ease so flesh should be no problem at all. If PC plod is reading I will be walking round the streets of Nefyn, North Wales, in early August carrying one. Indeed if you turn up then you will get a great bogof as my mate will also be carrying one.

And if any copper wants to increase his arrest rate and fill our jails when Dave gets in all he needs to do is go to any coastal town where people are sailing and wait for them to come ashore. If you don't see a knife like this on them the best place to look when you search them is that little pocket on the front of something they will be wearing that will look something like one of these:


You see, Dave, that viscous knife is a safety knife that sailors carry for emergencies like capsizing and getting tangled up in ropes and start drowning. In these situations we have seconds and a knife like this will save our lives.

But what do our politicians care? They kneed jerk to the Daily Mail, pass a law and tell everyone that the problem is fixed. But in our world of unintended consequences you can bet that thugs will continue with their lives and innocent people like me, my mate and Simon will get harassed.